Literally frozen in place, I looked up at the hillside that I would have to climb to find Her. I could smell smoke and some kind of flowers being burned, but saw no fire. I was consumed with my mortality and suddenly realized what had happened. She left me behind because I held onto being human here, in this magical place She had created for me. I had already halted my own progress before I began because I could not focus on progressing to any higher level. As this thought crossed my mind, the mist seeped toward me, and I knew I had to stop being human here. I had to release myself to begin again and to truly love and trust what I was being told. No one else would do it for me, or be able to guide me. She had been waiting for such a long time, I hated to disappoint Her once again. I began to feel the earth in a different way then. I thought of the core of it, how the hot molten heart of it roiled beneath me and instantly I felt warmth permeate through me. Red, orange, and yellow fires began to ignite themselves and all I had to do was derail my thoughts of discomfort, direct them to what I knew to be true beneath me. Then, there ahead of me, She stood waiting, three crows and a wolf now beside Her.

     “Stop breathing.” She used such a tone that I instantly obeyed. As I held my breath, I looked down at the shadows crowding around my feet. I saw what I thought were reflections of lightning, and noticed my toes were laced with red and brown and green. I knew it was mud and grass but the sight of the blood made me gasp and the beast shook the tree then, punching and beating the sides of it, causing me to scream, losing every shred of faith I just had. I was surely going to be torn to pieces by this enormous thing at any moment. The roaring deafened me then, and everything went quiet, as if someone had shot a gun by my ear. A thumping like a falling tree jolted through me and my knees buckled so hard that I fell down into heart of tree. I actually had to hold on to the roots and wonder if I should climb out or wait. I was deafened and bleeding and threatened by my weaknesses. I couldn’t move, I didn’t know if I was safe or not until I finally lifted my head to meet the eyes of the wolf now peering into mine.

     The moon was growing quickly now, and its light shone on the ground around us. I was completely disheveled and torn but it didn’t matter. The beast was gone and the wolf stayed with me until the dawn secured me again. I would have to learn to walk in the dark of the night, in the shadows of these corridors - these self constructed paths and I would have to trust them as much as I did the waking days. I had to remind myself that although I created all of it, it could still be a dangerous place. There was still so much that I did not know about myself, and so much that She wanted to teach me. How would I ever learn if I could not abandon my fear? I would soon run out of chances to change things, and they would forever remain unused.

     I came to a clearing where the sun shone on the tops of a ring of stones. The crows were here, waiting it seemed. Within it was a small pond with tiny fish darting around, reflections of scales barely visible under the surface. The grass had not yet grown in and there were shoots of green that would soon be daffodils. Two of the stones were much larger and side by side, with a small space between them. As I walked around the circle I noticed faint carvings of faces in them, soft details under moss and leaves. One stone was definitely female and it faced its male counterpart. Strategically placed around them were several symbols: flowers and acorns, stars and clouds, the sun and the moon.

     “The sun and the moon.” She appeared then, just above the surface of the water, floating above it like a glowing red angel. Her voice carried itself over into my memories and scenes like a movie ran through my thoughts. I saw my baby and his innocence, his timely appearance in my life. I saw my first born and my second born, holding his hands, the three of them surrounded in golden light halos, walking towards me, smiling and compatible and happy.

     “Mother.” She drifted toward them, but they did not see Her. They did not see me, either. The word mother echoed on a silent level in their ears. She hovered over them and bathed them in white and pink light, adding to the gold and creating a triple layer of protection around them. She turned to me then, and touched the tear that was about to fall. It joined Her to me, and Her to them as She traced the circles of light with Her finger.

     "It's time to go back." She kept Her eyes to the ground and took my hand. "This is what you came here for, to end here with this today. Make them feel you while you are still here. Remind them of their own abilities to communicate, especially when they are human and you no longer are. Don't smother them, or overburden them. Help them learn and grow and continually change. Listen without speaking. Speak without talking. See without eyes. Your examples will generate more of the same. Be careful of your thoughts, they pick up speed and turn into action, actively changing everything. Remember the magnetism, the law of attraction. Use it wisely."